It’s Not You, It’s Life.
Yellow tile wall with the word “life” written in cursive black ink.
We’ve all been there. In the rollercoaster that is life, we reach that descent that keeps going down indefinitely. You never know when it will end, or if it will even end at all. Down in that abyss, you find yourself alone and tired, with no way of getting out. Every time a problem goes away, two more appear. Trust me, we’ve all been there.
Life has a way of keeping most of us humble. Careers, education, relationships and health are but a handful of responsibilities that we’ve been taught to carry ever since we have use of reason. As you grow up, your list of chores becomes bigger. Relationships become complex now that you have to give in order to take, and even when you give, what you take may not necessarily be what you expect. Oh, and in the topic of expectations, you also have to meet those. Part of living in a society is accepting the fact that unknown people will determine what success is like, only for your friends and family to expect this of you. When you really think about it, it is a lot to handle.
Besides everything I’ve mentioned at this point, we also have access to all the information of the world. Thanks to our current technology, you can keep up to date with the news. Unfortunately, if you’re alive during the time I’m writing this piece (year 2022), then you might agree that the news aren’t necessarily good. Every time you turn to your phone, something terrible has happened. Social Media and news outlets (which also appear in social media, of course) usually lure us with striking headlines and images. There is always a war coming, and someone is, not just angry, but furious because they were cancelled over cancelling someone who was offended at their jokes. Wherever you look (or scroll), there is doom and gloom. All the stuff you read, and even the things you just scroll past, gets in your mind. It alters your emotional state, you become alert and your body tenses; it’s like you’re about to attack or be attacked. Even when you get rid of the phone for a few minutes, internet culture follows you everywhere. People talk in catchphrases, ads imitate outdated memes (which is rage-inducing) and the need for immediate gratification in the form of engagement and entertainment wraps around you. You’re addicted to this constant stimuli, understandably so.
Despite everything, you go on. You fight the good fight, as long as it is necessary. When the going gets tough, you pull out the strength to fight and survive. You use all the resources available to you. You go to your device and google whatever it is that you need. You find the answer and defeat the evils that threaten you. There is only one problem… you have to do this every single day, for the rest of your life.
Yes, the trick to living is understanding that life is an eternal battle. Victory lies in having a meaningful and fulfilling life before death. As we have learned (or as we have been taught), the only way to lead a life like this is by taking care of all the tasks given to us since birth (check the 2nd paragraph). All these things together can be overwhelming, especially so if you, like me, were raised in an unstable environment that didn’t support your talents, interests and needs. As adults, we make do with what we have. Oftentimes, you’ll try to sort things out and improve your mental health by searching for solutions online. You’ll doomscroll your way until finding them; bright-toothed, charming individuals who, despite being in the beginnings of their lives, have all the answers. These gurus, influencers, life coaches and etc. tend to share one thing in common: They won at life. You enter their blog or site, desperate for a way to clear your head, only for them to give you a To-Do list that may look like this:
Be thankful
Invest
Network
Workout
Live within your means
Travel
Buy my coaching program (which will bring me the passive income I need to keep up with the Joneses)
Whether you consider yourself a smart person or not, the reality is that most of us will feel some level of inadequacy when confronting these kinds of articles. Online, you will see people at their best, almost never their normal. You see them thriving and ask yourself why you’re not on that level. Since they’re offering a “solution”, then it’s safe to assume that you are lacking something they have. It could be money, looks, discipline, whatever. Why are you lacking “it”? Well, according to society, it’s because you haven’t done enough. And now, we go back to that list of chores and responsibilities that are assigned to us.
Think about it.
You have an unsurmountable pile of things you “need to do” and relationships to maintain. The world is always on fire, according to our trustworthy news outlets. Everybody online is having the best time ever, except you, of course, and those that are willing to share the secrets to life, will do so for an amount you may not be able to afford. While some people may scoff and say that we can just “get things done”, the reality is that we, as humans, are not designed to deal with these artificial conditions. Success, as shown, is merely what is expected of you. This expectation serves a purpose that doesn’t include your well-being. Adding insult to injury, another expectation is for you to keep functioning despite these issues. You, a great being with unmeasurable potential and reach, are expected to be a cog on a machine while aware that the machine is always on the verge of breaking down. If you even think about getting away from it, you deserve to feel guilty and live miserably. It doesn’t matter what logic or creativity you use to find a loophole, the reality is that there is no way to win the game.
When all is said and done, your brain now nourished with this perspective, and hopefully you’ll be able to reassess your standing in the world. Feeling bad about yourself will happen, but the important thing is to remember that the woes of life, even your own, are amplified by an artificial drive that keeps pushing you down. Remember that whenever possible, every chance you get.
It’s not you, it’s life.
