Make Life Bearable in 5 Steps
Hustle culture denotes the terrible choices humanity has made for itself, at least in my side of the world. Despite human beings having the potential to bear fulfilling lives in harmony with the planet, the powerful among us have decided that life is better when we’re running in fear of starvation or feeding our ego. For those that don’t have a choice in the matter, this poses a terrible problem that is detrimental to our mental and physical health. I consider myself one these unfortunate souls, but I also believe that there are some steps that we could take to make things a tad better. While I’m no expert, life coach, guru or whatever new term is trending for this kind of advice, I want to share with you five habits that have helped me tolerate life and its current lack of sense.
Cluttered desk with hands over a computer mouse and keyboard in front of a monitor.
Identify your passions and what drains you
Let’s start with you, a beautiful and complex creature filled with potential and wonder. You are a person, right? Well, surely you have stuff you like and stuff you don’t. In the battlefield that is life, it’s easy to lose yourself amidst your constant responsibilities, professional and social. It’s likely that you’ve had to tolerate or even fake your opinions about something, like smiling while being berated by an entitled customer who is clearly in the wrong, or kissing your boss’s ass to not get fired even though you don’t even like your job. As you fake your way through life, you keep pushing away the things that make you you. The more you do this, the less autonomous you are. Your voice is silent, hiding behind the ever-agreeable person that isn’t you. You need to take a stand.
I recommend taking one hour to yourself, get a pen and notebook. Why a notebook? Because a piece of paper is easy to lose. Sit down and make a vertical line. To the left of the line, you’ll list the stuff you like and would like to do. You’ll write the stuff that irks you on the right side, the ones that create obstacles (even mental ones) for you to have a good day. Some of these are necessary for life (such as having a job), but there are others that could be eliminated with some effort. For example, I dislike the amount of time I spend on my phone. Sometimes, I’m on the sofa just doomscrolling, and still aware that I’m wasting my time, not even enjoying what I see. By writing this behavior on the right side of the list, I’ve just identified a problem in my life. The good part is that now I can take the steps to fix this. Little by little, I keep adding to the list the stuff I wish to eliminate, and then make a plan to make it happen, but more on that later.
Keep a planner and write stuff down
Remember that notebook I mentioned earlier? Well, you might need to use it more often. If you don’t like the notebook, I recommend getting yourself a planner or journal of sorts. The reason for this is because writing makes your thoughts real, or at least easier to visualize. Everyone has goals, that is a fact. Even if your goal is not having a goal, that’s a goal itself. Goals are wants or needs, and we must address them at some point. Keeping these thoughts only in your head won’t help you achieve them. You need to visualize it, plan for it and then work for it. A planner is the perfect tool for you to write down what you want and what you don’t. The most important part of this is that it will help you track it. Instead of relying on your awesome yet faulty memory, the planner will be the place you revisit when you need to remind yourself of the stuff that you should be looking forward to and why. Without this small reminder, we can easily fall into the pit of hopelessness, where every day is the same, and there is no point to life. The planner, or notebook, is your lifesaver.
Make realistic and achievable goals
One of the pitfalls we encounter whenever we start a new enterprise is going too big too early. Those who want to be fit tend to overdo it the first days, and the ones who are interested in learning art spend an unproductive amount of hours at first. Unfortunately, we are not designed to adapt immediately to sudden changes. The same can be said for goals. When you make a goal, my advice is to keep it realistic and achievable. You can always challenge yourself, but make it so that you can pass over the obstacles and move on. This serves several purposes. The first one is obvious, progress. You have a goal and you need to progress to achieve it. Simple as that. The other purpose of realistic goals is to provide you with insight that will help you modify the way you act and think. As you work towards your goals, you will be able to identify the areas that need improvement and the ones that can be developed further. However, if your goal is unattainable or unrealistic, it would be difficult to narrow down exactly what you need in order to accomplish it. Personally, I prefer to use the S.M.A.R.T. goal system to make it so, organizing my goals into 3-month short-term goals, and yearly long-term goals. However, this is one way of doing things, and I highly recommend using what works for you.
Hold yourself accountable
This is a tough one. Much like being fit, discipline is a continuous process that grows as you continue to enforce it. This is a reality of life. If you want to improve your quality of life, you have to accept that this is an ongoing process without end. All the work you’ve done, all the obstacles you’ve overcome; you have to keep doing that. Many people (like me) get discouraged when they learn that they have to keep doing things in order to get good or better. That’s just work, and it serves a function. At that notion, it’s easy to just give up or to find excuses not to commit. This is a slippery slope. Once you convince yourself that there is no point to an everlasting practice, you lose the motivation to keep doing it. On the other hand, slacking off on your dreams (slacking, not resting) diminishes the urgency of your goals. Both of these actions are detrimental to your growth and quality of life. Even worse, they can end up harming you psychologically in the long run.
The way I hold myself accountable has varied with time. In the past, I used to be harsh with myself whenever I failed at something. It took years and experience to learn that negative reinforcement isn’t really the way I do things well. I’m a bit more pragmatic now. When it comes to long-term goals, it is easy for me to get discouraged and start questioning the point of it, so what do I do? I return to my planner (remember it?) and take a look at my goals, my wants and the motivations behind them. Whatever I wrote, edited, re-wrote and cried over, that’s the point. On the days that I slack off on my goals, I have two ways to go around it. The first one is that I make up for it on the next day. If I didn’t write 2k words for my next book today, then I’ll write 4k tomorrow. Sometimes this doesn’t work; life is hard. So when things aren’t going well, I “regroup”. I choose to take it easy during the week, but make the commitment to review my goals and plans on a weekend morning. Once I revise my planner after slacking off, I write down what happened and plan for the next week. I also remind myself that it’s okay to have these dips. Progress isn’t a straight line. Sometimes we fall, but we get up, learn from it and do better. More importantly, I acknowledge that I will fall for the same thing over and over, and that too, is progress.
Greet the Sun, literally
Simple. Natural. Healthy. Humans are organic beings, and our bodies need nourishment. Contrary to the popular belief that 8-12 hours of continuous labor is good for you, being in contact with the planet that supports you is actually how you can improve your conditions. In this side of the world, it is a fact that capitalism rules the way we live, and that means putting humanity’s wellness aside in order to create a profit for the lucky few. We are all tired and upset, and it doesn’t help that a lot of us work inside buildings without natural light nor natural ventilation. Our working spaces tend to drive us away from the very earth that provides. It doesn’t matter how much technology has progressed, or what new rules are invented in order to keep us producing, the reality is that we need nature.
There are many benefits to being exposed to the sun, such as getting your dose of vitamin D. But I’m not interested in talking about the biological benefits of this exposure (although there are benefits). No, I want to tell you about how the mere act of going outside supports your goals and quality of life. The body and mind need movement, stimulus, so that they can work accordingly and on par. Being couped up, inactive and such is detrimental to both of these assets. When you have the time (not if), go for a walk. If you live in an urban setting like me now, do it anyways. If you’re unable to go outside or move for extended periods of time, open the window, or at the very least, pull the curtains so that sunlight may come in, and move whichever part of your body you can stretch. Movement and exposure, we need both. When you let your eyes see different things, your skin be exposed to the chill or hot wind, you’re bringing new information to your self, which translates into experiences, feelings and potentially ideas. I’ve worked in an office setting for years, and at some point, I started doing a daily 10-minute walk outside. On the weeks where it was just impossible for me to go out, I would just open the window and have my morning coffee by it to feel a bit of wind. It may sound stupid, but these small things actually help me take a mental break, which prevents a bad day turning into a horrible day. So greet the sun, or moon, and be in touch with the world, no matter how brief.
We are hamsters in a terrible wheel made by those in power, but I believe that the best thing we can do is to take care of ourselves and each other. When we’re in despair or at our worst, it is easy to manipulate us. No person in power wants you to be healthy, happy and in control of yourself. Because of this, I share my experiences and tips with you. My belief is that once you work towards becoming the best version of yourself, your perspective will shift, and nobody will be able to control you. With that said, I hope you found this article useful and entertaining. If you have any tips you’d like to share, comment below!
If you enjoyed this article, share this article and let me know your thoughts below! You can subscribe to my email newsletter at the end of this page for special offers and news.
